ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS…
Is there a better time to be a parent than at Christmas?
The answer to that question may depend upon your view of Christmas in the modern world; many people are understandably dismayed by the commercial product-fest that seems to arrive a little earlier each year.
For some, Christmas may provide an opportunity to reflect upon how a child has developed over the course of a year. Growth and maturity may be noticed with delight. The sophistication, expense and length of the annual “Christmas list” is more likely to be met with dismay!
Lawyers who work with children are often asked about the point at which a child’s wishes begin to be recognised in law as having a bearing upon decisions about their lives. Parents ask with some trepidation; children often ask with determination and, occasionally, with a glint in the eye.
In common with many questions about the law, the answer is not straight forward.
In most cases where courts are being asked to make decisions about a child, the child’s welfare is directed to be the court’s paramount consideration and this will sometimes result in a parent’s view being overridden.
A child’s wishes and feelings are also required to be considered, but the weight to be given to them can vary. Many people think there is a magic age at which a child’s views suddenly start to carry weight, but although age is relevant, the more important factor is the level of understanding and intelligence which a child is able to bring to bear in exercising a capacity to make considered decisions.
Parental rights are not absolute. In this sense the law reflects life, as parents gradually need to “let go” and empower their children to make their own decisions. The famous judge Lord Denning summed it up nicely when he described the right of a parent as:-
“…a dwindling right which the courts will hesitate to enforce against the wishes of the child, the older he is. It starts with the right of control and ends with little more than advice.”
“Sound advice” is unlikely to find its way onto many lists this December, but arguably, there is no better gift. Merry Christmas!